hullo
hullo
I think you're rad

if you could all pray or just do something my friend Ethan died in a car accident yesterday morning and his family is having a really hard time.. If you’re not religious please just keep him in your thoughts it would mean the world to me

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rhydonmyhardon:

religiousdad:

supremelaxbro:

IM GOING TO ARREST ALL THE TALL PEOPLE

did anyone hear something?

i think its coming from below but its too far down to see

(Source: supremelaxbro, via chapsnats)

6,654 notes
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
83,221 notes
Reblog if it’s okay to start talking to you.

(Source: skate-l0w, via fuckinq)

756,210 notes

angel-and-hunters:

smaugwithablog:

wwwgoodreads:

sqwhoretle:

turntechdestiel:

thepondseleven:

harry-p-ron-w:

amoying:

nasturbate:

marshtomping:

nasturbate:

(white girl voice) wait lemme go to the bathroom

are you saying only females of the white race urinate

yes

i am an asian female and i can back this up, i havent urinated since 1902

How old r u

17

*whispers* how long have you been 17

I know what you are

Say it.Say it out loud.

WILDCATS

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS POST.

(Source: nasturbate, via eggplont)

515,874 notes

solar-radiance:

*steps into shower*

*forgets to remove eyeliner*

*steps out of shower*

*Joins The Black Parade*

(via wholocked-in-221-b)

60,209 notes

poopflow:

if u have good cheekbones aND good eyebrows fuck u

(via ugly)

320,303 notes

lilyjanescollins:

if leo gets the oscar tumblr will break

(via pizza)

119,799 notes